My faith in humanity is being tested every day. First, Mel Gibson’s bigoted rants. Now, Uncle Jesse is facing statutory rape allegations.

Allison Coss, 24, claims that John Stamos tried to get her drunk in order to have sex with her. Wait a minute—didn’t I just read another old dude using drugs to nail a younger woman? Thought so.

But what’s the big deal, right? It’s pretty common for guys to try to get chicks in their twenties liquored up in order to have sex.

Ah—here’s the fine print. Coss claims that this inappropriate behavior happened in 2004, when she was a mere girl of 17. Coss and Stamos allegedly met in 2004, shortly after Stamos and Rebecca Romign separated.

During opening statements on Monday, July 12, defense attorney Sarah Henderson said that two female strippers showed up at the actor’s hotel room with a baggie full of cocaine.

Coss and her friend allegedly took a picture of Stamos stuffing his beak. Later, it’s reported that Stamos and the young Coss kissed and partied in the hot tub. Apparently, Stamos offered to perform oral sex on Coss, but he was rejected. The actor allegedly got irritated and broke a bedpost before apologizing and then asking Coss to spend the night.

Mood swings much?

So what’s the big deal? Nothing happened other than illegal drug use…right? So why is this coming up now?

Well, because someone calling himself “Brian L” texted Stamos, demanding a load of cash—or else the photo of the actor hanging out with coke would be released to the press. Stamos contacted the FBI, and Coss and her sidekick Scott Sippola were arrested.

No photos of Stamos posing with cocaine have been found, but now Coss is claiming that she and the actor had a romantic, sexual relationship. Teenagers.