Man I can’t believe my PARENTS moved in next door! Man I can’t believe my ex-drill sergeant moved in next door! Man I can’t believe my gay ex-husband moved in next door! I certainly hope no hijinx are going to ensue!

Sitcom history is full of examples of the “inappropriate person or persons move next door” syndrome, shows like Everybody Loves Raymond where someone that absolutely shouldn’t move in next door does, and it begs the question: why the hell?  Nothing like that has ever happened in real life, and it never will. In real life if you just got divorced from your husband and he told you he was moving in next door, you would tell him, “What are you thinking? We just got divorced and we need space.

Have you not even thought of what this will do to the children, with the constant tension and stress you’re creating by not giving us the appropriate distance? Are you retarded?” And then you would sue him. And you would win. Because you would be right.
I get wacky neighbors. Of course there could be a Kramer next door. I’ve moved many a place and been like, “That is one unusual fellow. So loud and angry. And what an unusual wife. Always full of fear.”
Not that Kramer was an abusive spouse. It’s just that I’ve found usually when I’m in an apartment and I have an unusual neighbor they’re usually an abusive spouse. But that’s probably less funny than a guy who accidentally stays in a tanning bed too long and has crazy hair to boot.

Digression aside, sitcoms, listen up, you need to stop doing the inappropriate person moves in next door thing because it’s completely unrealistic, or go the other direction and take unrealistic to it’s furthest logical extreme and have the next door neighbor be a boxing kangaroo that gives amazing advice about dealing with the pressures of high school.