John Waters is best known as the director of Hairspray (the original—he wrote the newer version), Cry-Baby, and Cecil B. DeMented. So you must know that I love him. I find his humor contagious, and I could listen to him tease and talk all day.

And he did a lot of teasing and talking on Colbert Report. But don’t worry—Colbert did plenty of teasing himself, at one point asking if Waters had something on his upper lip. Nope—that’s just a pedophilic mustache.

The topic of his visit? His newly-released book, “Role Models.” “This looks like an eight-year-old neurotic boy drew it in three minutes. And that seems more up my speed,” Waters said of his book’s cover. Sounds appropriate to me. Because Waters seems perfectly neurotic.

Plenty of random tidbits about Waters’ life came up during the interview. “I taught a first-grade class recently,” he said. “I gave them the same class that I teach in prison. We did improve, and we all did an airplane crash, and they loved it…and then I gave them presents like Oprah. I gave them rat skeletons, and they really liked it.” John Waters, will you please be my friend? I find you absolutely hilarious. And I don’t know about my readers, but I would love a rat skeleton.

There are plenty more gems in this interview that I simply don’t have the space to bring up—so watch the video yourself and let me know that you think.