When Dan Aykroyd says “aliens,” he doesn’t mean the illegal kind. The ones that cross the border from Mexico in the back of covered trucks, or through sneaking under breaks in the fences. He mean the ones that come from outerspace.

Aykroyd sat down with Larry King on April 30 to talk about a variety of topics, including his belief in extraterrestrial beings. Not only does he believe in them, he also feels relatively certain they have not only visited our planet, but abducted people as well.

When King asked him for a shred of proof, Aykroyd pointed him toward the Travis Walton story, which inspired the 1990s film, Fire in the Sky. Aykroyd also said he believes they land in isolated places, and don’t wish to actually have contact with us, especially after 9/11, when we broke our toys in the sandbox.

Aykroyd also noted that aliens are obviously breaking the law, but when King wondered how we could arrest them, Aykroyd said if we want to save lives in this country, we need to shift our focus elsewhere.

Teach people how to drive, kill the cocaine appetite in America, and stop people from texting while driving.

Good points, Mr. Aykroyd, but if aliens don’t want contact with us, why would they bring Travis Walton back and let him tell his story? That’s what I wanna know. Because that movie scared the crap outta me, and I don’t want anything to do with aliens anymore than they obviously want to do with me.

And how do we know Aykroyd himself isn’t an alien? I used to watch Saturday Night Live. I’ve seen him with a conehead…

Dan Aykroyd, ladies and gentlemen… speaker of truth? Maybe he and Jesse Ventura need to have a nice, long talk.