15 TV Show Remakes That Were Utter Disasters

Classic television shows are one of our society’s most socially revered commodities; they bring back memories, they can be ice-breakers and conversation pieces, and they can act as historical markers to show later generations just how silly people used to dress. Classic TV shows are an important part of our culture, and that’s exactly why they shouldn’t be redone badly by has-been network execs every time they get the itch to ruin something sacred. Some classic shows are unlucky enough to have had their legacies soiled over the last couple of decades with horrifyingly bad remakes and reboots, while others can only wait until its their turn. These 15 shows are among the victims; mourn them with us now.

Bionic Woman

Even though the original Bionic Woman only aired for two seasons, it made a huge impact for such a short run.

The Mod Squad

The Mod Squad was an early Aaron Spelling show with a hilarious premise: Three young multiracial hippies are made into tools of law enforcement in lieu of going to prison for their hippie crimes. The show, as ridiculous as it was, made a splash and became a hit, running for five years starting in 1968. Somehow, a group of geniuses at MGM thought that it would be a good idea to attempt a big-screen remake in 1999. The movie was so bad it received a Razzie for Worst Screenplay.

The Dukes of Hazzard

Little introduction is necessary for The Dukes of Hazzard, but suffice to say that it was a massive hit that still retains a cult following. After seven seasons and almost 150 episodes, the show was laid to rest — but that didn’t stop Warner Bros. from desecrating it with its 2005 movie release. In a pathetic attempt to pander to younger audiences, they cast some of the worst actors in existence alongside veterans like Burt Reynolds. It was called “the worst film of 2005.”

Beverly Hills, 90210

Ten seasons and nearly 300 episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210 simply weren’t enough for some network execs. The iconic 90′s show was recently brought back from the dead (where it was decidedly better off) and revamped it with a younger, hipper crowd of no-name actors along with a name change to just 90210. Critical reviews of the show just about all fell into the “bland” category, while in terms of actual viewership; the only people who watch this garbage are the ones who aren’t old enough to drive yet.

Knight Rider

The overwhelmingly nostalgic jewel of David Hasselhoff’s comedically mediocre career, Knight Rider is a truly loved classic show for millions of fans worldwide. Running four seasons from 1982, the show came to an end in 1986 — only to be poked and prodded by interested parties every few years since. They finally got their way (sadly), and KITT’s memory was forever soiled by both movie and tv show remakes in 2008 — both horrifyingly bad.

Bewitched

Bewitched is easily one of the most-loved shows in the history of television, and it has 8 successful seasons to prove it. The show ran from 1964 to 1972, with the first half of the show airing in black and white (those were the days). Nobody ever thought that the day would come that somebody would attempt a remake of this classic, but much to the world’s collective surprise, it unthinkable happened in 2005 when the utter failure of a move released with several big names attached to it, all of which now wish they hadn’t signed on at all.

The Twilight Zone

Rod Serling is likely rolling in his grave right now, after seeing his masterpiece, The Twilight Zone, treated so horribly in the new millenium. In 2002, UPN decided that it was going to trample on the show’s grave by remaking it — as cheaply and badly as possible. They even had the audacity to try and replace Serling himself by hiring Forest Whitaker to do the iconic introductions. Whitaker’s not a bad actor, but the only word to describe his performance usurping Serling’s role would be terrible.

GI Joe

1985 was a good year, and not just because it was the pinnacle of the 80′s — it was the year that GI Joe began its run, making the lives of kids across the nation better in ways they wouldn’t realize until decades later. Sure, it was hokey, but it was entertaining and since only one guy ever actually died in a way the kids could see, it was pretty clean children’s programming for the 80′s. The show had been left to rest for a number of years, as it should have been, until hollywood moguls dragged it into the theaters in a spectacularly bad special effects extravaganza last year. This movie can be described a number of ways, but nearly all of them amount to this: Slapstick, nonsensical, poorly planned, overproduced, generic, sad, and just plain terrible.

The Fugitive

Harrison Ford did a very good job playing the long-admired role of Richard Kimble when he was cast in the 1993 film version of this TV classic from 1963. The story was a good one, with plenty of dark drama and action to carry it in any screen format, but it was a story that had been told and retold just as well. So, why then, did CBS feel the need to ruin The Fugitive‘s perfect track record by attempting a sad TV remake in 2000? Maybe they all got really drunk one night. Honestly, nobody knows.

Scooby-Doo

As bad as the original cartoon was (and still is; if you count the currently-airing rubbish as original), Scooby Doo is as iconic as cartoons can get, and it should never, ever have been made into a live-action film. That being said, if somebody were to do such a thing, one would hope that they would have the class and common sense to do a good job of it. This is not what came to pass. The “film” that was born is easily one of the worst acts of humanity in recorded history, and the monumental evil behind its production has seen to it that sequels have followed.

Miami Vice

Over 100 episodes of cheesy 80′s awesomeness was poured into the hearts and minds of America as Miami Vice rolled through its five-season run, ending in 1990. The show was immensely popular, as were the clothes, cars, and actors pictured in it. It was the stuff of TV memories, and yet we just couldn’t let it stay that way. Universal Pictures couldn’t leave well enough alone, and they grabbed overpaid hacktor Colin Farrell and Jaime Foxx to piece together their rebooted masterpiece of trite, miami-drenched cop drama. Somehow, when it released in 2006, it managed to rope in enough positive reviews to fool people into believing that it was a decent movie. Looking back, one has to wonder; were the other movies released in 2006 really that bad?

Melrose Place

The original Melrose Place, debuting on Fox in 1992, was a guilty pleasure that nobody thought would become so successful. Critics were silenced quickly as audiences were brought back week after week for the chance to see more of Heather Locklear, and the show went on for a full seven seasons. Nobody ever thought that it would return, and nobody was bothered by that. It was gone, and things were good — until now. CBS just couldn’t let it stay dead, and with the viewership that the new version has going for it today, it was better off dead and buried.

Inspector Gadget

Millions of children of the 80′s have immensely fond memories of Inspector Gadget, because it was a truly good cartoon with a fun story. It was one of those shows from childhood that we all thought would be safe, untouchable, out of Hollywood’s reach — and then the unthinkable happened. Disney, of all companies, decided that it was high time the venerable children’s show had been ravaged and pimped out for cold, hard cash. In 1999 they got their way, and force-fed the CGI monstrosity to millions of ignorant children who had never heard of Inspector Gadget since it aired before they were ever born. This was likely the very lowest point in Matthew Broderick’s career.

The Flintstones

There just isn’t anything to compare The Flintstones to — except maybe The Jetsons, which has thankfully been saved from Hollywood thus far — because it’s the cartoon show that all other cartoon shows have been measured up against for decades. This gem of the 60′s may have been patently ridiculous in all technical ways, but it was enormously entertaining for its time, and managed to keep entertaining kids well into the 90′s. It came as no surprise when the 1994 film was announced, because the show was still so popular; what did come as a surprise was how incredibly bad it was. If for no other single reason, the incredibly stupid decision to cast Rosie O’Donnell as Betty Rubble was beyond all comprehension. It’s like casting Roseanne Barr as Heidi Klum, and it’s completely unforgivable.

V

When word got out that some experienced people were getting together to make a remake of V, people got excited. When their masterpiece began airing in late 2009, there was a media frenzy. Solid sci-fi actors from multiple shows had been brought together to make this thing happen — it was going to be good. That’s what we all thought, at least; now we’re spending an hour every week getting upset because the show we want to be so good is so aggravatingly bad. The very first five minutes of the very first episode set the mood for the entire series thus far: Annoying characters, naive characters, stupid people, bad acting from good actors, bad acting from bad actors, horrible writing, plot holes, twelve seconds of action, and an overwhelming feeling that this show is going to be canceled before the next episode airs.