Alright, only one of these shows is actually real, but we can always fantasize about having the chance to kick back and laugh at one of America’s most prominent public figures. Especially when that public figure is Sarah Palin, because the woman is a natural walking string of jokes and gag-reels. Because of that, it’s only fitting that we list off the ten best ideas that have floated around for possible reality shows that could star the former Governess, and they’re surprisingly fitting.
The Real Housewives of Wasilla
As another installation of The Real Housewives of… series, The Real Housewives of Wasilla would focus on Palin and her fellow “Hockey Moms.” Think about it, they’ve already got the most repulsive hags of Jersey, LA and Atlanta, why not throw some middle-America Wasilla into the mix? Palin can be the show’s anchoring point to make sure things don’t get too normal, since we can always expect Bristol to bring home some new douchebag and a pregnancy test that went awry — and all the lawyers running around the house are sure to bring some juicy gossip to the table.
I Love Bristol
Bristol Palin is a major player in the Sarah Palin fame machine, as she played a major role in her mother’s all-to-expected downfall.
The girl is a glorified teenage train wreck, with a large family full of money backing her every dim-witted move, so it only makes sense that the girl get her own show. In the spirit of VH1′s most loved/hated offerings following the I Love moniker, this show would center on the girl but factor in dear old Mommy Palin in plenty of episodes. Like New York’s beast-like creature of a mother in I Love New York, who ended up becoming half the show.
Putting Up With The Palins
This one’s pretty straightforward as well, take Keeping Up With the Kardashians, keep the primadona behavior, remove the pornstar and her hot sister, change the mornic younger and quite unattractive younger sister to Bristol, and switch out the parents for Sarah and Todd Palin. Now you have a vapid, mind-numbing, Wasilla-based reality show that is nearly identical to the original, except that without the eye-candy there just won’t be any reason to watch it.
No Parental Control
Taking its cues from MTV’s sloshpot of goodness (read: One of the worst things ever begotten by Man), Parental Control, this show would put the parents Palin in the position of having to choose viable options for their daughter to date. The show would very likely be vomit-inducing, if not just for the stunning array of cloned robotic GOP-inseminated thugs that would be chosen, but also for the horrifyingly bland dates that would ensue on camera. It’s also likely that every date would end in sex if Bristol were allowed to spend too much time with any of the young men, so they’d have to be kept quite short, but that would work well for the time-slot anyway.
MILF Swap
Wife Swap is hard enough to watch as it is, given that for the most part, the show’s producers seem intent on only using the fugliest, most mentally unbalanced behemoths they can get their hands on — but why not go for broke and turn the ridiculous up another notch? MILF Swap would at the very least prove to be slightly entertaining for the supposed MILFs involved, but throwing Sarah Palin into the mix could only make it better as far as drama is concerned. Pair her up with the most liberal families available and watch the fun unfold.
The You Betcha Life
As much as we hate to admit ever watching it, The Simple Life did have its entertaining parts from time to time, and there can only be more when the show’s premise is morphed to fit Sarah Palin as she’s thrown into awkwardly un-Wasilla-like situations of democratic proportions. Have her and her bestie spend some time in an urban slum, or just about any part of California or NYC and see what kind of trouble they manage to stir up as they’re made to partake in menial labor and other demeaning jobs not befit for the ex-governor type.
Supergranny
So you’ve got to admit there is a surprising — though very loose — physical resemblance between Palin and the Supernanny, which only helps lend to the cause on this one. Sarah could waltz into the lives of unsuspecting breeders to render help as the World’s Best Granny; she can take other people’s children to the grocery store and treat them like groceries, and she can take them with her on publicity errands and hold them like loaves of bread — it’s just like she’s at home with Bristol and her other kids!
The Moose Whisperer
Some of you may not remember the Robert Redford flick from way back called The Horse Whisperer, but just about everyone knows The Dog Whisperer, and between the two of them there is bound to be PETA-enraging gold when Sarah Palin gets thrown into the mix. The Moose Whisperer‘s premise is fairly simple: Sarah Palin visits people who have unruly moose, and attempts to assuage the savage beast. When that fails — and it will — Palin will just do what she does best and shoot the animal. This can go on for seasons at a time, at least until the moose population dwindles past the extinction point.
America’s Most Smartest Politician
Ben Stein co-hosted a series called America’s Most Smartest Model back in 2007 for VH1, and needless to say, it was fairly entertaining. We’re proposing that the very same group of folks produce America’s Most Smartest Politician, because the comedy fodder drummed up for the original series is just perfect for the idiots we put in public office. Sarah Palin would, of course, be one of the competitors in the race — but it’s highly doubtful that she’d make it past the first few episodes.
Sarah Palin’s Alaska
In Sarah Palin’s Alaska, we get to see the sparky ex G-Lady saunter about the snowy wilderness and show all us urbane folk just how down-home frontier-like old Alaska really is. She can take us fishing, show us how to field-dress a moose, how to shop for the best head of cabbage while holding your baby like a loaf of bread, and how to grab the best parking spot for your SUV in a Wal-Mart parking lot. It’s the Wasilla way of life, after all; isn’t it? The really hilarious thing is that this show is actually happening. And you thought trash-TV couldn’t get any worse.
Comments
Kathy
April 12th, 2010 - 4:11:13 PM
Poor Moose... Where was PETA on this one???
1
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