I’ve got an awesome last name.  Really, Hawk.  How cool is that?  I’m like a fierce bird of prey all ready to snag mice and stuff.  Pretty neat huh?  Well, it would be if your first name wasn’t Michael, or the more often referred to “Mike.”  Yes, put my first and last name together and I become an anatomical gag.  Just take a second, you’ll get it.  Ah yes, there it is.  Go ahead, get it out of your system.  FAQ: yes it is my real name, no my parents didn’t realize what they were doing, yes I’ve been hearing it since I was like seven years old, and no there is absolutely no joke or turn of phrase you can tell me that I haven’t heard before.  Believe me, the comedy of being “Mike Hawk” dried up years ago and unless you’re a 14 year old boy, it’s barely funny to start with.

And no, I am not related to Tony Hawk, Ethan Hawke, Hawk Ostby the Iron Man screenwriter, or Sue Hawk from the first season of Survivor.

Thankfully, in my thirties, people tend to be more intrigued by meeting me and with a name that rhymes with ” My Spock,” new acquaintances seldom forget me.  As it should be because I am A) awesome and B) still have a really cool last name!  Let me tell you, it looks good on the back of a hockey jersey.  And while I can trace my surname back to the personal guard of King Edward II, it is my namesake’s roots in television I am most intrigued with on this, my 35th birthday.

In honor of all of us who have a last name too cool for normal people (talking to you Three Sheets Zane Lamprey!), I present to you my Top 5 shows featuring my name, Hawk.  Happy birthday you handsome devil!

5.  Adventures of the Sea Hawk

First of all, it filmed in Bermuda.  Nice gig.  Secondly, the whole thing was about a tricked out 1958 super boat and nothing says awesome set design like late 50′s high tech!!  I got a copy of a couple of episodes on one of those super cheap DVDs you see in bins at Walgreens, but I’m not sure how much of Sea Hawk’s 26 episode only season exist today.

4.  Silverhawks

The Silverhawks were little more than the Thundercats with wings, but in 1986 this 11 year old boy totally bought into it!  I watched it, played with the toys, and thought that they were cool ’cause you know, they were Hawks!!

3.  Street Hawk

If you love hokey 1980s stories about extreme sports before they were extreme sports, than you’ll flip over Street Hawk!  A blatant rip off of Knight Rider, lead character Jessie is badly hurt in an accident and offered a job testing a top secret all terrain attack motorcycle with tons of weapons and tricks while his handler watches everything through a helmet cam.  Plus, sweet theme song!!!

2. A Man Called Hawk

Spenser for Hire was a huge hit in the 1980s, due in no short part to his mysterious sometimes sidekick Hawk.  Avery Brooks played the character through 65 episodes of Spenser and 13 installments of the short lived spin off, A Man Called Hawk.  Both shows were entertaining and intelligent crime dramas, but only one had the pleasure of carrying my name.

1. Hawk

Sometimes the best titles are the simplest ones.  In 1966, Burt Reynolds was solidifying his future stardom as TV’s native American detective John Hawk, cause nothing says Iroquois like the Bandit!