At first, I didn’t know if this newscaster literally searched the entire town of Lanwdale for the kookiest old man he could find, or if the town was really infested with vampires. Then I realized he was talking to the councilman of a California town, and it all made sense.
Lawndale town residents have been complaining about the smell in their town. It seems some clever councilman encouraged the planting of garlic bushes in the highway dividers to keep the vampires out of town. I’m not sure how close Lawndale is to Santa Clara, home of the infamous Lost Boys, or even the Sunnydale Hellmouth, but the outraged town should probably thank Jim Ramsay.
Everyone knows garlic repels vampires, and what better way to keep them out of town then by making the entire place smell like a pizza joint? On the other hand, vampires have evolved a great deal over the last twenty years, and there’s really no telling if they’ve become immune to the effects of garlic, or not.
Ramsay insists he hasn’t seen a single vampire in Lawndale since they planted the garlic bushes, so that’s good news. I wonder what they did with all the vampires that lived there before. Did they run them out of town, or are these poor daylight hiders holed up in basements wearing H1N1 masks?
The funny thing? The City of Lawndale is currently looking to fill a vacant position on their beautification committee. Experienced stakers, polish up your resumes.
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