Much in the vein of Johnny Carson or David Letterman, I thought I would put together my own list of ‘Top 10′ predictions for television in this grand new year of 2010.  In other words, don’t take anything I put down here too seriously and let’s have a few chuckles, shall we?

#10 – Religious figures in food will become such a hot item that The Home Shopping Network will begin to sell items like the “Jesus Cheeto” and the “Virgin Mary Toast” during their on-air broadcasts. This will, in turn, bring more Republican conservatives to the network, which we all know spend more anyway.

#9 – LOST will exploit the time loop created by Juliet setting off the hydrogen bomb and take the characters into an alternate universe where ABC actually leads in the ratings.

Okay, maybe that’s not much of a stretch, but if five seasons of LOST plot lines are wiped out, I do predict there will be some seriously pissed off fans.

#8 – Reality TV will continue its current downward spiral. The television viewing masses cravings for violence and sex will ultimately lead to two new shows: Bar Fights of America and Sex on the Couch.  Well, these titles were inspired by actual events in current reality television shows, so you never can tell.

#7 – 3D television sets will begin to spread across America, but early adopters may be disappointed.  Unlike HD where the technology was ready to roll out to the masses, this 3D thing is still full of holes. Don’t expect to sit back in your living room and view your TV as another version of Madden’s All Star Whatever game.  Although a few networks (including ESPN) are making a commitment here, I just don’t see it going viral in 2010.

#6 – At least one female singer will appear drunk, half naked and flashing private things in an award ceremony.  It has happened so many times in the past, I can’t even keep up with it any more. Seriously, can’t a guy revel in the thought of another such incident?

#5 – Free online television streams will begin to go the way of the dinosaur.  We all love them, but there is no way that current advertising models can support Hulu.com and other streaming video sites that offer free services currently.  By the end of 2010 I predict that not only will Hulu be charging for online streaming video, but so will every major network from CBS to Syfy. Just remember you heard it here first. Go torrents! (Okay, that last part really was a joke.)

#4 – Shows that will thrive this year include newcomers such as Glee! and Caprica, with continued success for reality staples such as American Idol, The Biggest Loser and Survivor.

#3 – Shows that will dive this year will include worn out shows such as CSI, Law & Order and 24. Hey, I can wish, can’t I? Other shows to spiral this year will include Heroes, Fringe and FlashForward.  As much as I like them, I just don’t see it happening.

#2 – Fans will continue to rally around shows that the majority of people don’t watch, which network executives will therefore never renew, despite excellent writing and substance to the show.  Moral of the story here is that the majority of people don’t know a good TV show if they see one.

#1 – Between the late-night talk show wars and the upcoming Olympic games, NBC will lose so much money that even Comcast won’t want to close the deal.  NBC will file for bankruptcy and one of America’s longest running networks will sign off the air.  After all, the idea behind the game of ‘hot potato’ is not to get caught with the potato when it’s time is up, right?  Speaking of NBC, I just had the inspiration for a new reality TV show.  It could be called Extreme Makeover: Network Edition. I think it will take an extreme makeover for NBC to stand a chance in pulling out of this nosedive.

So what do you think? Where do you see television headed in 2010? Share your thoughts on my list, or share your own.  I want to hear what you have to say.