Last week brought a new episode of Cake Boss on TLC and what I believe to be the end of a once great reality show empire.

Now, let me explain something.  I’m on a reality show, a cake show even.  I’ve gone from working in the entertainment industry, to writing, to now writing about the entertainment industry and am currently quote/unquote “talent.”  So I have a pretty firm grasp on how this genre operates.  I understand that sometimes you need to do things to make the production of the show work and we’ve been asked to do a lot of things on camera.  But as an individual, and as a company, we’ve always retained the right to not do something in order to protect our image and our position as professionals.

Buddy and his Carlo’s Bake Shop are such professionals.  They’re one of the best shops on the east coast and I am super happy for their success.  The initial episodes were great and really showcased what they can do, which is just about everything.  Unfortunately, Buddy has allowed the producers to turn him into a caricature of a blow hard.  If the Italian community is upset by Jersey Shore, they should be livid over the way Cake Boss comes across.  The situations and drama are so fake, so contrived, they border on cartoon.  Last night’s episode was the worst.  No professional cake decorator is gonna throw a layer of cake at his employee because it is an inch off.  Neither will they have one delivery driver for a reported 50 wedding cake weekend.  You will also not take consultations without a notepad and those consultations will not take place for a wedding later that week.  The show is forcing drama and creating situations for Buddy to act blow his top half a dozen times an episode to achieve ratings.  People love seeing Italians get mad you know.

But the real train wreck for TLC is Little Chocolatiers, a horrific mash-up of their popular Little People, Big World franchise and the early success of Cake Boss that is quite possibly the single worst reality show ever transmitted.  No joke.  While some shows are horrible yet redeeming in how easy they are to poke fun at (see Conveyor Belt of Love), this show is simply embarrassing.  It is just not possible to make a reality show more fake than Little Chocolatiers.  I’m sure the owners are nice enough folks, and the lure of having national exposure is strong, but when every single shot is framed around their t-shirts strewn about the background in perfect view I’m pronouncing shenanigans.  Do you really keep shirts on hangars over the sink?

  Do you?

In their one (hopefully last) episode we saw a couple of friend’s daughters dying to be on TV pretend to be new interns that screw up chocolate flowers and then of course the refrigerator breaks down so all the chocolate will melt.  Oh no!!  However, when they show a close up of the melted sweets any picnic fan that’s ever left a Snickers in the sun could tell you they had a small kitchen torch taken to the top of them to induce melting.  But the real pie in the face to smart viewers was their trip to get dry ice.  First off, it was the same warehouse where earlier in the episode they picked up chocolate.  Second, someone would have helped them carry out the boxes, as they did the chocolate at the same place like 10 minutes ago.  Third, the big drama is one of the boxes “breaks” open, spilling dry ice everywhere.  Fake.  Freeze frame the DVR and you’ll see the box was never taped to begin with.

I’ve gotta believe there is only so much audiences are willing to swallow in regards to reality programming.  I also need to believe that there is only so much business’ should do to get this kind of exposure.  I know our producers would always press us on what the drama of the moment was and we’d respond “just let it happen.”  Audiences for these types of reality shows don’t care about the drama, especially when it is so obviously manufactured.  They care about the process and the opportunity to get a glimpse into someone’s life.  It should be anthropology, not a circus.

What I don’t understand is why TLC (which apparently stands for The Little Channel) is not getting huge backlash over these stunts.  I mentioned the Italian stereotypes, but what about making a couple of little people look like bumbling oompa loompas? I found it offensive!  Is the goodwill from even portraying your community on TV so strong you can overlook the exploitation?

TLC used to stand atop the heap with their scripted reality programming, but whoever is making the calls over there now has the network bobsledding towards the bottom.  They have the money to execute every stupid idea a producer imagines and apparently going for all of them.  Or copying Food Network with their own cake challenge show.  I lost a lot of respect for the channel when they went forward through the Jon & Kate divorce with new episodes.  That has turned into total disinterest.  I have no faith TLC can craft an interesting reality show any longer and don’t plan on giving them the opportunity to change my mind.