Happy New Year!  The new year (and decade) started with bang as news hit the stands.

I’m sorry ladies but former American Idol contestant Jason Castro is no longer on the market.  You may remember Castro as the guy with the guitar and dreadlocks from the seventh season of the show (he placed fourth).  He married his girlfriend Mandy Mayhall in a small ceremony on Saturday and plans to release an album later this year.

If you haven’t heard of the battle between Time Warner Cable and FOX network, you must live on under a rock (What’s the rent like there?).   The trouble all started when FOX wanted more money per subscriber than Time Warner was able to provide.  Months and months of negotiations, threats, and name calling ensued, culminating with Time Warner Cable saying they’d be removing FOX network stations from their nine markets.  Neither side is telling the financial terms of the settlement, but I’m sure anyone with Time Warner Cable will be happy to know their FOX channels are safe.

In a last ditch effort to save their network, NBC is talking about bringing back Last Comic Standing.  The popular show ran for six seasons and would be brought back with a slightly different format and a new host (so no more Bill Bellamy).  While the show doesn’t grab the highest ratings on Nielson, it still does well enough that it would keep NBC afloat during the summer months when NBC plans on airing the show (should it be brought back).

Kelly Ripa is going back to daytime TV!  Oh wait, she’s already on daytime TV…

ok, rephrase- Kelly Ripa will appear in two episodes of All My Children!  Ripa, along with several other All My Children veterans are scheduled to reappear for special episodes today and tomorrow (January 4th and 5th).

I am so sorry for reporting this as it just perpetuates the nonsense, but apparently Kate Gosselin may be getting her very own dating show.  Now, the show hasn’t been green-lighted yet (and we can pray it won’t) but the show’s premise is a reality show (Really? A reality show for Kate Gosselin?  No!) where Kate tries to find love and feed her family off the profits of a television show at the same time.  Do you like the taste of money kids?  Please executives, I beg you, please don’t do this.  Enough is enough.

That’s it for this weekend’s news quips!  Have a lovely and safe week!